[06 Jul 2008|02:21am] justthejill in  the beginning, i was super upset at the prospect of spending a week away from my home without internet, friends, cell service (for the most part), and my life here. however, as being away becomes more and more real.... i have become completely okay with it. i think i need some time to figure out what im doing, and hang out with myself alone. i need to think about where im at in life, and evaulate who i am right now. i think some time away from everything and everybody is really, really going to do me some good. i know there are some things in my life that are awesome on paper, but not so awesome in reality. i think before i was afraid to think and be alone with who i am, but right now - i think i need that more than anything in the world. i just the phrase 'i think' a lot.... and im kind of hoping that me thinking will translate into it being seriously okay,,,, peace out world. post comment

forever [03 Jul 2008|02:17am] e_mjournal accel: brood, you have made no tactical decisions for some time, and though i understand you-- brood: --i want the full array or troops sent out. accel: ... certainly you do not mean this. brood: the war has been looming in the distance for some time. it will be coming here soon. accel: so to send out all troops? brood: that should help to find the threat before it gets to these doors. accel: and if it bypasses the troops, what if it gets here their absence? brood: you and i will remain, we can defend these kingdoms. accel: the two of us? brood: i am certain worse odds have existed. accel: i believe to be prudent we should-- brood: --i have diminishing patience, the war has been oppressing long enough. we will put forward a full effort to destroy this menace. accel: you see no benefit in investing in a defense strategy? brood: i've worked with defense long enough, offense is action, and action is needed now. i've held on long enough, i cannot wait forever. post comment

apollo [01 Jul 2008|11:10pm] e_mjournal as jupiter moves on, saturn looms closer -a coming of age tale for apollo post comment

moods [01 Jul 2008|10:29pm] e_mjournal good week, this has been, as much as being nocturnal keeps me out of touch with happenings, i still managed to have some fun in between the days. several days off now, still need plans for blowstuffup day, but i'm not stressed about it. oh, and a needed edit to this past blog, "they" is meant to be plural, and "they" mean frickin everything, i swear. for those that don't know them, i am pretty hopeful that you have plenty of your own. such a weird variety of moods lately. must be that damn sun. post comment

fight [30 Jun 2008|11:31pm] e_mjournal wake: after years of following grimm so much happened so fast to change everything. grand: this is true. wake: you, especially, from a man who would address him as "sir" and "my king" after so long, yet now can speak of him in such regards. grand: maybe i finally understand things better now? wake: so when we get to him? grand: i like to not think of it, when the time comes, it comes. wake: i just worry there will be a fight. post comment

mutual [29 Jun 2008|05:18pm] e_mjournal c____: miss me? pilot: are you serious? now? a time like this? how would this come to be? c____: you know you gotta tie this up soon. pilot: it's takin on a prophetic nature in some ways it would seem. almost eerie. c____: how much do you think you really know? pilot: well, that's always evolving. c____: well then, let me spin this for you... in the short time reckless was traveling with a man he would have come to know only as "delirium" it seemed mutual that a bond existed. at times he felt he was leading delirium, and at others times that he was being led himself. after being a captain to many men for so long the shared burden of responsibility was a welcome change. some days it would seem delirium was a little more gone than there, and other days, other than having little concept of a personal identity delirium was actually quite astute. admirably so, in fact. delirium exhibited some peculiarities, including sporadic delusions and abrupt social patterns, but also seemed to possess a wisdom that didn't seem reasonably attainable in the years he could be theorized as having lived. c____: in another place brood could be found lamenting, for purposes unknown. the seeming abandonment from his brother, the suicide of his wife, and for as much as he liked to overlook, the disavowance of his own son-- pilot: --brood would be a man with whom one may consider lead either a life of great loneliness or one of great spite. it could be easy to own a high level of sympathy towards him, or an equal amount of disgust. either could be debatably warranted. c____: do you feel you have a particular stance or a side to argue on? pilot: we're both sharin' these stories, right? c____: so it's only fair objectivity is kept in place for the duration, right? pilot: of course. c____: you must have meant something by defining all you laid out a moment ago... pilot: just relation, but go on. c____: he had sent two men out after his long lost brother, knowing full well that the relationships each had with their former king had evolved greatly over time, perhaps turning out quite negative. whether the men would return with grimm dead or alive could even be a question. this however was something brood didn't seem to have a strong opinion towards, it may be better either way, in his mind, actually. brood could be found many days sitting in his room alone, communicating only to accel on occasions for business purposes, spending the rest of his time waiting, thinking, and listening. as brood had learned, there was a war on the horizon, and it would be likely to hit home soon. pilot: hey, c____, are you...? c____: but then that would mean i always have been. pilot: there is very little i would ever absolutely rule out. c____: that is still a very broad and absurd concept. pilot: yea... so it is. but it could parallel. post comment

love [28 Jun 2008|11:34pm] e_mjournal perhaps it's the hypomania speaking but i'm in love. i hope you all know them. delirium and polarity are two very understated concepts, but are so present. post comment

[26 Jun 2008|01:50am] dotcomslash I went to Taco Bell. I ordered a 3-taco meal. I left without getting my drink or my change. Yikes. post comment

[22 Jun 2008|06:31pm] justthejill im thinking about going on a trip somewhere (and quite possibly alone) at the end of summer.... depending on how money goes. i think the east coast would be fabulous. post comment

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